Andrew Rutherford

Dear Carolyn, Here is my recollection of the Vision I experienced of your son. This picture repeated in my mind, the week I heard the news of Andrew. I was uncertain what it meant, and who the people I saw were, as at the time I did not recall being made aware that he had a little sister waiting for him already, in Heaven! I could see Andrew, strong and mighty, being used as a human playground by a young girl who appeared to be about age 4-5 years old! She was climbing up his left side like a monkey, and gripping him slightly onto his back; clinging to him as a Koala would. She was determined and playful and delighted with smiles and giggles, and Andrew was patiently taking it all in, supporting her with his arms wrapped behind him; permissively allowing her to scramble excitedly all over him. It was the image capturing the response of an ecstatic child, when they had not seen a loved one for a while, and they had arrived home. Behind him, and slightly to his left, not too far back, simultaneously stood a young woman who appeared to be in her early thirties, looking on, observantly, with her arms gracefully folded. I recall her hair was soft and straight; just past shoulder length, and she had a kind disposition. Whoever she was, she loved Andrew, very much! I hope that is helpful, somehow, and will be a blessing to your whole family. The snapshot was so brief, yet SO clear, it was as though I was actually there. It was then like watching a video of it on replay for the remainder of the week, until I mustered the courage on March 26th to tell you! Blessings of continued comfort, and God's incredible Peace that surpasses all understanding. Love in Christ, ~Monica Rose Evangeline "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too." ~2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Our love and prayers are with you all. It is often hard to understand and try to reason in our minds and hearts situations that occur, that are out of our control. So glad that we know the one who is in control. Have peace that Andrew is with other family members that have left us. What a wonderful reunion Andrew is having. Our God reigns.

The whole family's love for Andrew is a beautiful testimony and a picture of God's love for us. Your compassion encourages me to love more and forgive more. Andrew has left behind a beautiful legacy.

My deepest sympathies to your family on the loss of Andrew. Take comfort in knowing he will be in your hearts forever. He has been called to heaven before you but you will all be with him in eternity.

For Andrew: Oh heart, how you beat so timidly against the raging sea the frailty of youth held on by a thin segment of string Clinging to a rope which cuts at hands already weak Tossed against the black torment hidden beneath veins If one were to dig deeper, under the skin and through muscle and bone one would see the heart constricting, wishing to break free of its chains Beat-thumpthump- beat. Beat-thumpthumpthump-beat. Heaviness settles. Feeling all alone, it doesn’t see the sun. Oh sallow skin, yellowed and withered not with age, but with grief it hangs weary wishing for the fragrance of oil to seep in and heal the thick and roughened skin is comparable to years of being washed ashore broken and bloodied with no hope Were one to remove the old husk of life, and replace it anew it would spring forth, a glowing person never to grow old again sizzle-crackle-glowingshowing-newness-all around glowing, not slowing down, time waiting for the answer from thy mouth A chance of few rarities, awaits to find a release from the bones of age rise up anew, start your day fresh and free Though the world was not overcome by one so tormented, it has been overcome by Christ Jesus Now, the tormented soul is resting in Christ’s arms of peace Resting! With new breath in a soul now free of chaos and addiction. No more will Devils snap and gnash teeth at him, no more will Satan devour No more. No more. No. More. Now one is to dance in the gardens of Heaven and laugh like a child Andrew. Your name is Andrew. I didn’t know you well, but I resonated with your pain. It called to me like a beacon lighting a distance separated by fog. I wanted to help you. I wanted to show you life, and restoration. I talked with you about struggles, and sorrows, hopes and dreams. Thank you for your friendship Andrew. For your trust. Trust is not easy. It is not freely given, so thank you for our talks. May you rest in peace now, free from the constricting circumstances. May you throw your head back in joyful laughter free from agonized crying. May you run through the fields of green and turquoise, with feet splashing the crystal clear ponds of peace and healing. We all miss and love you so deeply, you will be missed.

To our dear Sister, Brother and family who we love so very much! We grieve because we love. And because Andrew was greatly loved the grief is almost more than we can bear. I think that grief is all of that unspent love which gathers in the corners of your eyes, in the lump in your throat and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go. Although God allows us to grieve, he will show compassion. "So great is his unfailing love, for he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men." Lamentations 3 vs 32-33. "As a mother comforts her child, I will comfort you." says the Lord. Isaiah 66:13. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Mathew 5:4. Hold onto the truth that Andrew is now free. God took his hand when it was his time to go home. Even though we did not want him to go, he could not have stayed another day. Andrew now has peace that surpasses all understanding. No more pain no more sadness no more addiction! Just freedom! Praise God! Andrew has left us all so many prescious memories. He was such a loving,silly, happy little boy. Dressing up as a race car driver and a rock climber ect. Andrew was always found at the side of his cousins playing basketball, golf, baseball ect. Some of our fondest memories were at Shawnigan Lake and family water balloon fights games night with power outages (lol) and of course ginger bread house making. Our family chain is broken and nothing will seem the same, but as God calls each one of us home our chain will link again. Andrew is in heaven no more pain just Gods everlasting love, peace and joy. We are a family with faith and hope! pls do not ever hesitate to call us no matter how much time has passed. Love you all so very much! Paul and Cathy

Dear Carolyne. I wish there was something I could say to take away the pain you are feeling. We all feel an incredible lose and as you know we were very close to Andrew just another one of the boys to me. Thanks to God that we will be reunited one day. And thanks to God its the truth like no other. In the meantime God allows us to mourn for a while. And we mourn with you, Ernie and the rest of the family. I was thinking wouldn't it be amazing if we could just have a peek at what heaven is truly like. I was told once to imagine the best place and then times it by a million. If in my head I substituted Disneyland for Heaven I'd be thinking I can't wait to get there myself. And oh how much better it's going to be.....no line ups.....In the meantime Andrew is only gone from our sight for a short time. Too soon for us but just right for God. Always here for you both. Love you guys so much. God will be your strength always.

i would love to come out

I only met Andrew briefly, at Kinghaven treatment facility before he was called away. I really enjoyed the brief time we spent together! We challenged each other every day to complete the crossword, it was fun! He was a very intelligent man who did not hide from his demons but sadly accepted them, I will never understand that. The day he left treatment we shook hands and hugged, I told him "dont leave, you are safe, you have so much going for you." He told me "I know that, I have to go." I will not soon forget him walking away, he was gone shortly after, i was sad to hear of his senseless passing, I hope his family finds peace!

So sorry for your loss. I lost touch with you over the years Ernie but whenever I saw your parents, they caught me up on the family news, rattling off the names of all their grandchildren. You have been in my prayers since I heard of your loss

This is some free poetry/writing for Andrew that I wrote when trying to fully express my grief. From your sister Rachel. ... I see you. I see you in my minds eye as I reluctantly look into the mirror, the smooth white reflection of your last earthly comfort too visible. An open curtain. Unbidden tears. Unwanted emptiness. Incomplete family. I see you. Now in the surreal moment of gazing on an empty shell of what you are. Wishing I saw clearer when I could feel you beside me on the family couch; be wrapped in your strong hug at the end of a visit; hear your goofy laugh; enjoy your unexpected gentleness and honesty. I see you. I see your struggle now for what it was not what I assumed. Understanding gained through the ache of loss. Life and death. Slavery or agony. Guilt or pain. Disappointment and hopelessness. There were glimmers. Of hope, love, grace, acceptance. But only glimmers through the need, the unwanted drive for unavoidable destruction. I see you, though only dimly. One day soon I will see you clearly and have a chance to know you fully. I will laugh and hug you again. For now, I will learn to love the ones I still have on earth better. Christ is our gift of peace and our hope for forever. I love you Andrew, I miss you

My dear brother, what can I say, will be sorrowfully missed and leaves such a deep hole in our hearts. So many memories growing up...camping, road trips to see the Grandparents, fun times with cousins, fighting in the backseat of the car and Space Jam, so much Space Jam! Our heartbreak here is so great but it’s nothing compared to the hope of heaven that we have. I so wish Andrew could have received freedom on this side of heaven but I know he is safe in the arms of Jesus and that one day we will all be rejoicing together! Mom and Dad, we’re sorry for your great loss. There will always be a hole missing in our family. Thank you for always being pillars of strength, love and support. We love you so much! Love Nicole and Chris “[We] can do all things through Christ who gives [us] strength” -Philippians 4:13

My dear brother, what can I say, will be sorrowfully missed and leaves such a deep hole in our hearts. So many memories growing up...camping, road trips to see the Grandparents, fun times with cousins, fighting in the backseat of the car and Space Jam, so much Space Jam! Our heartbreak here is so great but it’s nothing compared to the hope of heaven that we have. I so wish Andrew could have received freedom on this side of heaven but I know he is safe in the arms of Jesus and that one day we will all be rejoicing together! Mom and Dad, we’re sorry for your great loss. There will always be a hole missing in our family. Thank you for always being pillars of strength, love and support. We love you so much! Love Nicole and Chris

Uncle Andrew was a great Uncle because he loved me. The last time I saw him I gave him an extra hug before we went to go to the airport. I miss him so much. It was really funny when we were playing “Sushi Go” with my Mom, Dad, Uncle Andrew and Grandma because after everyone was laughing at my Dad because it was his first time playing and he lost. I love Uncle Andrew so much. Now he is in heaven, he is not here, but he is in our hearts and heads and he is in a great place now. Love Drake

Andrew. You were a young man who never gave up trying to get well. Your determination was inspiring to many. I am so sorry you had so much pain and struggle in your life. It's not easy to overcome, but you put everything into trying. In the end you were exhausted. Jesus Christ saw and searched your heart. He called you home. You went willingly, and He hugged you tightly never letting go. He said, "My child. I have never left you or forsaken you. I love you greatly." And He lifted you up from the miry pit of Earth and set your renewed feet into the solid foundation in Heaven. As soon as your feet touched the path, your spirit sprang to life,and your sorrow, body distress, anxiety and fear, addiction and rage was instantly plucked and pruned from your body. The old self passed away, and Jesus has given you a new self free from the agony. You laugh and rejoice as you are free. You find rest at last. We are grieving your loss. All of us greatly sorrow. We don't understand why you couldn't try again. We want you back to tell you well we you. "If Love could have saved you, you'd still be here" because there was a lot of love for you. I am going to miss our talks about life. I will miss the humor of the young man who once looked at a map and said instead of the city's being listed, it should have it labeled "morons, hippies, freaks, athletes" and a few swear words I won't repeat. It made me laugh Andrew. And on the day of your funeral, I stared at that map remembering what you said. I looked and it was like you were there saying it again. When other family spoke of their memories of you,it felt like you had come to visit while we remembered you. I hope you got to witness how much people loved you and do miss you. You were young. But you had lived a life which took years to get through making you old and laden. Jesus has removed the ashes and restored your soul. Love you Andrew,may you rest in peace and when our time comes may you be waiting at the gate, leaning on a pillar laughing and joyful ready to show us the many wonders of Heaven.

For those who do not know me, my name is James, I am Andrew’s younger brother. I was asked to give a eulogy on behalf of our family for Andrew. This is something I don’t think anyone is quite prepared to do, to remember before friends and family the life of a brother who departed far too soon. Andrew was born in 1986 in the beautiful city of Victoria. Some of our most precious family memories were formed here, including many zany adventures with our cousins—such as the harrowing times during the Blizzard of ’96 and the time we played sardines during a power outage at Aunty Cathy and Uncle Paul’s house. I am sure we will hear many of these stories later today. Andrew particularly enjoyed the many great times we had during summers up at Shawinigan lake. He shared a particularly close relationship with our uncle Rick, enjoying many boating adventures and good times at his shop. If my memory serves me correctly, he may have even convinced our Uncle Rick to make us ninja throwing stars—probably not a good idea for a bunch of crazy kids like us. He was also very close with our Papa, and was particularly heart broken when he passed away last year. My mom is particularly fond of her memories of Andrew’s love for dressing up as a kid—as the slides have testified. Whether it was as a race car driver or mountain climber, Andrew was always eager to play the role. When Andrew was around 14 we moved to Calgary. Without his cousins around, I became his favorite competitor in sports—probably because he could always beat me in basketball. But we enjoyed many good times playing tackle football, basketball, and occasionally boxing at our home in Sandpiper. He may have beat me at basketball and boxing, but I was slippery and could hold my own in football and wrestling. In more recent years, Andrew and I did not see each other much—and of the time we did spend together, most of it was spent waging meaningless battles over pointless trivia--much to our mother and my wife’s dismay. However, Nicole, my wife, remembers that it was Andrew who helped her to realize that our family was as crazy as hers and that she could comfortably become part of it. It was Christmas, Nicole’s first time meeting my whole family, and Andrew recounted an extraordinary poo he had just had—including picture testimony to its distinctive F shape and size. Needless to say, the ice was broken and Nicole has fit nicely into our craziness since then. I know that we will always remember the love Andrew had for his family, his kindness and tender heart, especially towards his nieces and nephews. Struggle As many of us know, Andrew fought fiercely with drugs for many years, a struggle that eventually claimed his life. Despite these struggles, Andrew continued to makes blessed memories with his friends and family. He is dearly loved by his many nieces and nephews, even getting to meet the newest addition—my daughter Aliyah—over these last couple months. Our family will always remember God’s great mercy towards Andrew in the midst of these struggles. At a time when drugs repeatedly claim far too many lives, we witnessed over and over God’s mercy preserving Andrew throughout his struggles. Especially, 2 years ago when Andrew had a significant overdose, God preserved His life miraculously. I know we had all hoped that Andrew would attain victory over his struggles by God’s grace and fulfill his many dreams—such as upgrading his schooling and going to school for business. We will never know why God has allowed Andrew to pass away so young, yet the continual demonstration of His mercy reminds us that God never forgot our brother and desires that none should perish, continually extending great mercy. Even the night before Andrew passed, my Dad was given the opportunity to pray with Him throughout the night. We do not know God’s plans; we will never know His good reasons for allowing such tragedy, but our hope for Andrew, the hope for all of us here today is Christ Jesus, the one who conquered death. He who beckoned us to come, who says in Matt 11:28-30, Come to me all who labor And are heavy laden And I will give you rest Take my yoke upon you And learn from me For I am gentle and lowly in heart, And you will find rest for Your souls For my yoke is easy, And my burden is light. This Jesus also promised life to all who entrust themselves to Him. In John 11:25-26, He says, I am the resurrection and the life, whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Amen